The AshenCloaked Child
by mywildimagination
Summary: Aro may not have been able to get Renesmee, but he was going to have a half-vampire in his guard. Luckily, Gianna was willing enough to help him get one. No one was prepared for the consequences.
1. Chapter 1

Soon after I returned home that evening, my doorman buzzed me, saying that a pale man in a dark cloak had come to visit, claiming to be my employer. I told him to let him up before frantically straightening up my apartment. The Volturi had never paid me a house visit before, and I had no idea who exactly it was. Felix? Demetri? Would Alec count as a man by my doorman's standards?

Already fairly neat, my apartment was looking clean long before the knock sounded at my door. He had taken the time to walk at human speed. How thoughtful.

I was rather shocked when I opened the door. Even in my wildest dreams I could never imagine it would be _Aro_.

I found enough control to remember my manners. I sank into a deep curtsy. "Aro. I am honored. Please come in."

His face broke into a smile. "Why, your dwelling is absolutely lovely, Gianna. So modern – I love to see the direction humans are taking in their style. Though of course you have some of our ancient taste." He gestured to my seventeenth-century Solimena. "I remember sitting for this one. It's lovely."

I smiled in return. "I remember you always."

"Indeed. You have always proven such a loyal servant, Gianna, and for that the Volturi are grateful."

"The pleasure is mine." And out of habit, I said "Won't you sit down?" before realizing that he didn't need to sit. And then – my heart nearly stopped – were any of my chairs fine enough?

Noticing my distress, Aro merely laughed. "Don't fret, my lovely Gianna. I will most certainly sit." He chose the large sofa underneath Solimena's portrayal of him and his brothers. "But do sit with me." I took the space to his left, leaving perhaps one, one and a half meters between us. I had never been this close to him before.

"I've come to let you know that you have been accepted into the guard of the Volturi, provided" - he extended his index finger - "you perform one final task."

Perplexed, I mulled this over. "Something I can't do as a vampire?"

He laughed lightly. "Oh, but how astute you are! No, you can only accomplish this in human form."

"What is it?"

Aro had hardly moved since he had lighted on the sofa, but now he waxed even stiffer. When he spoke again, the sound came out several pitches higher. Was this him being . . . nervous? "Now, I don't suppose that someone had debriefed you about our trip to Forks this winter? About the . . . peculiarity we had to deal with there?"

"Yes." Felix had told me about the half-vampire children. The offspring of a vampire male and a human . . . "Oh." Of course! Aro would want one for himself. And he didn't want just anyone from the guard providing it. It had to be his own. And he wanted me to be its mother. Me! A warm feeling of relish rushed through me. How jealous would Jane and Renata be! And Aro's wife . . . what would she think? I should be scared of their wrath, but they wouldn't touch me, not with Aro's child in me. And after, when the child was born, I wouldn't be a weak human anymore. Perhaps subservient to them, perhaps talentless and unuseful, but still able to hold my own. And with a newborn's strength! A whole realm of possibility opened before me.

Aro's voice yanked me back to the present. "You understand, then."

I nodded. "You'll father your child on me."

"Should you survive, you will be guaranteed a spot in the guard, even if you show no talent. No one will question it. You will have earned it."

This was more than I ever dreamed!

"Do you accept?" And he held out his hand, obviously trying to find out how much of a yes my yes would be.

I nearly shoved my hand into his (not that he would have noticed if I did). I had nothing to hide.

His smile stretched slowly wider as he heard my latest thoughts. "We'll never openly say the child is mine, of course. But everyone will know."

"Of course," I said.

He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it. Then he pulled me closer and kissed my lips. Oh, I'd never kissed stone before. Smooth, cold, stone. In all my years with the Volturi, I'd never sized any vampires up as a potential partner, but now, with Aro, I wondered how I had ever tolerated a human man. Being with him would be like having a god in my bed.

Aro laughed. "I appreciate the compliment. And may I say, I've never met a human woman with beauty to rival yours. I simply can't wait to see you as an immortal."

I grinned back. "Then we should get that to happen as soon as possible, shouldn't we?"

And we went to the bedroom to complete the night's work.


	2. Chapter 2

Aro had turned out to be a good lover, though I sensed most of his energy had been spent trying to keep me alive (and accidentally breaking my bed), leaving little room for either of us to really enjoy it as much as we could have. Still, it was good.

Before he left, he told me that if I was pregnant I would know within the week – that is, if I paid close attention. He would come again, then, ifthe seed did not take. His words, not mine.

After a few hours' sleep, I dragged myself out of bed. According to the rest of the Volturi, nothing had happened last night, and they would be expecting me at the same time as always. But even tired and sore as I was in the outfit I had carefully picked out to hide the bruises, I found some extra thrill in my work that day. Jane flitted in and out of my work area. _I slept with Aro last night_, I told her in my head. When Felix and Demetri teased me by feigning interest, _I slept with Aro last night_ teased them back. I looked at the entrance to the wives' tower and whisper-thought _I slept with Aro last night_. And when humans filed in for lunch, I told them, _I slept with the guy who's going to eat you, _and had to resist a small giggle. I rarely got so giddy, and it was really rather childish, but it got me through the day.

Throughout the week, I began to notice other small changes. I was usually a pretty good sleeper, but I became far more restless. My eating habits changed, and I began reacting strangely to certain smells. A simple pregnancy test confirmed it, and I slipped the thin stick into a Ziploc bag and slid it between papers to give to Aro. The next day I was ordered to move out of my apartment. I would have a room in the Volturi's castle from now on.

Thus the last stage of my life began. By the end of the month I'd be either immortal or dead. All I'd planned and dreamed for for years was culminating, and while I was rather excited, I also felt a little disappointed. In truth, I'd been hoping we would fail the first time. When Aro left me that first night, he'd left me wanting more, and now I was afraid I would never get it, since he'd gotten what he wanted.

* * *

Rooming arrangements were interesting. My first item of business was to get plumbing installed near my room. The only ones in the whole castle were the public ones downstairs by my work area, and it would never do for me to use those while I was living here. We could hardly put my personal hygiene need where the public could see, and my room was so far away that I was worried I wouldn't be able to make it when I got further along in my pregnancy. I only needed a rudimentary toilet, sink, and shower for one month, and I got them. Meanwhile I collected every scrap of firewood and blankets I could get. I could install plumbing, but gas heating was out of the question – too much bother for so little reason – and neither I nor my baby would be going cold. Other than that, I'd be doing fine. I had maternity clothes and a nice soft bed. Another young woman was assigned to wait on me – no doubt she'd be taking my place as secretary soon – and better yet, she was a nurse, with the training to set whatever bones the baby broke.

She also could get me blood – illegally, but the Volturi would pull a few strings in order to get that overlooked. I was actually a little nervous about the blood-drinking. It was ironic that I had filed thousands of victims through those doors, knowing that if I got my desire, I would someday drain their blood myself, but when it came to sipping it through a cup, I got queasy. But I had never thought I would have to do it while human, and I lacked the imagination to really believe I would starve without it. But I would do it eventually.

Meanwhile, I would work as secretary for as long as I could. But that all changed as well. None of the vampires talked to me anymore, mostly for fear of Jane (I could tell when she passed by it took nearly every ounce of her control not to kill me), but also because they resented me. I'd be getting into the guard the easy way. I was hurt, but also more determined. I'd end up changing their minds about me somehow in the course of eternity. Nevertheless, I was glad when I had to quit.

I could feel the baby now, and it was getting stronger. It wasn't hurting me yet, at least not very much, but it was there. I thought about what I would do when it got out of me. Feed it, yes, clothe it and care for it, but it wouldn't need those services very long. Perhaps then I would find a place for us among this elite group of law-enforcers that passed for a vampire coven.


	3. Chapter 3

"If I had known you would choose _Gianna_, I would have said no."

"But surely, who else did you think I had in mind?"

"Someone who at least had _some_ potential."

"Like who?"

"It is an inconsequential matter, but I do agree with Caius. If neither the mother nor the child present any use to us, then why do it?"

"If you'll excuse me, brothers, I can understand your doubts about the mother, but the child, at least, should have plenty potential."

"We don't need another mind reader, Aro. Or anything much in that field at all."

"Patience, Caius. We will see what becomes of them. There are several possibilities in play here."

"I will not stand for you making our guard a playground for these . . . these _experiments_!"

"This has far more value than a mere experiment. However little talent the child may possess, it will still provide quite an advantage. It is the only way to catch our enemies off guard."

"Hmph."

"What of the mother?"

"Well . . . she doesn't absolutely _have_ to live. Her death may occur anyway."

"Then let it occur."

". . . Perhaps."

* * *

"Oh – I think that was a rib, Regina." I cursed under my breath. "That hurts."

She sighed and examined my side. "I wish we could get an x-ray installed here. I hate doing this blind."

Her hands quickly found the spot.

"Ouch – yes, that's it. Oooo." And I grunted.

She snorted in response. "Well, at least it seems to be a clean break. Doesn't look like it's torn anything. Hold still while I tape that up."

"Ha! Like that's going to be a problem. Regina, be careful."

"I'm doing the best I can, Gianna. You should be fine in a few moments."

I sighed in exasperation.

"Well, when you're done, could you get me some food? How about a nice, hot panzaratti?"

She made a face. "No, I am going to get you some nice, cold B positive. But if you insist on it being hot, you'll have to find a microwave somewhere."

"Please, Regina? All I want is some food."

"I do not want to handle your vomit, Gianna. Food doesn't nourish you anymore, and blood does. Just drink it. You like the blood once I give it to you – I can tell."

My jaw set and my eyes narrowed. "I'm pregnant. I can't help if I get cravings."

"Exactly – you crave blood and you won't admit it. Instead you have me trip over my own feet fetching you food you don't need, just to have you throw it back up. Then I bring blood into the room and you all but rip it out of my hands. Just drink the blood."

"I do not rip it out of your hands!"

She laughed.

"Don't laugh at me!"

Regina shook her head. "I don't understand you, Gianna. How can you get so squeamish about drinking blood when you facilitate rampant murder -"

"Shut up, Regina."

" - and then allowing your employers to use your body like a -"

"Don't you dare say that word!"

" - like a – like a whore!"

"REGINA."

"And you're going to take some empty position on the guard – the bodyguard nobody needs. But your real title is – will always be – concubine."

"Go AWAY, Regina!"

"Aro's pimping you out, Gianna, and the child you bear is his payment. And then you get to spend the rest of eternity with them – that is, if they weren't lying when they asked me to keep you alive."

"I hope someone's thirsty on your way out. I hope they ignore Aro's orders and suck you dry. If they don't, I think I might just do it myself."

She stayed put. "Go ahead. My life's ruined anyway. The Volturi have taken away everything from me, just like they've done to you. You're just too blind to see it."

"And you're too _stupid_ to realize that I want you to GET OUT."

"I'll bring you back some blood."

"Don't _ever_ come back!"

"Ha – like Aro's going to get someone else to put up with you. I was just the most convenient. As long as he gets the kid, you can die for all he cares."

I yelled every bad word I could think of at her, every insult, every curse, but only the door was left to hear it. Tears landed on my pillow, and I used Regina's bandages to wipe my snot on, since I had no tissues. I must have fallen asleep, because at some point I opened my eyes and there was a cup of blood on the table next to me, and I had not seen anyone enter or exit the room.

It smelled so good, and I was famished. I hated proving Regina right, but I needed that blood. She was wrong about the important things, anyway. Aro may be ruthless, but he was not an oath-breaker. He would keep his promise to me, I was sure of it. And even if I had no gift, I would make myself useful to him in some way. I would become a warrior. I would get Felix to train with me every day if I had to. I'd be more than just the mother of Aro's child.

What was so bad about that, anyway? It was a place of honor, not shame. The woman to bear the king the most children always got the highest place in his house. And this one would be highly gifted, I could tell. Everyone would envy me this child. And like every other ruler, Aro would have a progeny. It was no less than he deserved.

Regina was a fool. She thought the world belonged to her and her kind and could not accept a higher class of beings. I pitied her. She was plain and dull and bitter, and she would make a far less worthy replacement of my duties with the Volturi. She was not worth my petty anger.

So when Regina returned again, I accepted her apology. I gave up trying to get food from her; I took blood when she gave it to me three times a day, and I never asked for more or less. This baby would be out of me soon, and I'd never see her again.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm not sure how alive I am anymore. I live like a zoo animal, locked in a cage with only my handler for company, hours marked by my feeding times, nights marked by periods of just lying there trying to ignore the child kicking me apart. I am so pathetic that Regina doesn't bother to show how bitter she is, only her pity for me. We still don't talk; she is too tired, and I am in too much pain. I only let her know where it hurts so she can patch me back up again.

In the end, it is only bandages of anger and stubbornness that hold me together. My physical conditon and my political one combine into one giant monster I must defeat. I will live. I will gain dominance among the Volturi. I am not going to die. I am not going to let Jane win. I will pull through.

A vampire comes to visit. No, she's just passing through, and Regina has asked her to stay. I pray it's not Jane. She had better not see me like this.

"The child has to be ready by now," Regina is saying. "We have to get it out of her. Can't anyone talk to Aro about it?"

She says nothing. We all know no one has bothered to think about me in the past few weeks. Time passes so quickly for them – my travail of bitter agony is the blink of an eye.

"We can arrange a meeting," the vampire finally says. I know by her voice that it is not Jane – more likely one of Aro's regular guards. I'm relieved.

"May I speak with him now?" asked Regina. "The sooner, the better – for both of them. No doubt Aro will want his prize presented to him quickly."

"Come with me," says our visitor. "We will see if he is available."

The child kicks again, and I feel it vibrate through my body. It may get out of me soon. Regina was trying to arrange it. Anticipation hummed inside me, not only for the pain to ebb, but to see this child I was giving up so much for. Despite all my ambition and love for the undead, I was eager to have a child I could call my own – I already had names picked out. These weren't the names I thought might give a child when I was younger, like Enzo or Gabriella, my favorites. These were names I thought would fit in with Aro, Marcus, and Caius – names that had the ring of the ages. This child wasn't merely a member of the guard, it would be a member of the family, belonging with the ancients.

Regina has returned, with the same vampire as before. "Don't start until I show you where to cut," she instructs, and now I know it is time to deliver my baby. My heart beat faster, and the baby kicks again – harder this time, and all my senses are obscured by this escalation of pain.

"I'm sorry, Gianna," Regina tells me, "but there's no pain medication, no anesthesia. We have no time to find some. You will have to stay awake for this."

"Just get it out of me," I gasp. It's hurting me anyway, so what's a little more pain?

Cold hands rest on my belly, followed by cold teeth. I moan, and Regina has to hold me down to keep from moving. I can feel the teeth inside me, moving and digging, and it becomes too much for me. I vomit a little blood, and since I'm lying down, it stays lodged in my throat, which only further stimulates my gag reflex. Regina realizes what's happening and sits me up just enough for me to get my airway clear. But before she sets me down, the black spots in my vision begin to spread, and I lose sight of my surroundings. All I'm aware of is the ringing in my ears, and soon I'm not even aware of that.

My consciousness slips away like a dream.


	5. Chapter 5

The light was difficult to get used to. It was strange to have my eyes open, and no mucusy film before them, leaving them naked and vulnerable.

The rest of my body felt the same. I never got cold, but I hated the sensation of air on my skin, as well as that of the cold, wet cloth and the dry one I was subsequently swaddled in. These things bothered me, so I gave out a soft cry.

I was answered with a small bouncing movement, as if the person holding me was trying to imitate the motion I'd felt in the womb. Utilizing my new sense of vision, I discovered that was exactly what she was trying to do. How stupid. Did she think I could be fooled? I didn't like this stranger. She was too hard and cold, whereas the one who'd carried me inside her was soft and warm. Where was she? I wanted to see her.

It was difficult to turn my head. Before I entered the world, I had flesh and fluids to support me, and now nothing could help my neck support its weight. I used my nose to locate her, and cried again while I struggled to orient myself closer to her. But I was being carried further away – too far away. I escalated to a steady wail.

"He wants his mother!" I heard a voice say, and though I didn't completely understand language yet, I knew the voice was ordering precisely what I wanted.

I was set down on her chest, then, with hands hovering over me to ensure I retained my balance. My mother's eyes were closed and she was silent, unresponsive. All I heard was her steady heartbeat beneath where my hand rested.

At that moment, I saw everything. I saw my mother's whole life, as far as she could remember, and I learned a great deal in that single instant. The images were too much for me to think clearly, but I achieved a rough sense of what it meant to be alive, the difference between a mortal and an immortal, and what a father was. I learned that most beings were divided into males and females, and that mothers were females who carried babies, that fathers were the ones who put them there. I viewed her memories of where she had gotten _me _from, and who had put me there. His name was Aro. Her name was Gianna. My name she had not yet decided. I saw all the ones she had in mind, and chose one.

_Julian_, I thought. _My name is Julian._

By then I had finished seeing her thoughts, which had faded to the black that was overtaking her mind now. I realized I was thirsty, and that she smelled good, and before I knew it I'd sunk my teeth into her.

She had a thought now – she was feeling a firey burn. I was too preoccupied with the taste of her blood to realize that I was causing her pain.

Too soon, I was picked up from her body and carried away from her. I was disappointed at first, then relieved. If I had continued feeding on her, then I would have killed her. Embarrassed, I rested my hand on the wrist of the woman who carried me. Her memories unfolded to me as well, at first rough and human, then pristine vampire ones – the clearest, most defined memories I'd ever heard. But the only thing I cared about was what she thought of what I'd just done. She felt a mixture of pity and disgust – a child sucking not on his mother's milk, but his mother's _blood_ – but it made no sense to feel that way, not when draining away the life of a human usually meant nothing to her. My own shame, however, intensified greatly. At that moment I wanted nothing more than for her to forget what I'd done.

On my command, the memory was gone from her. She stopped for a moment, her hands trembling – I thought she might drop me – and then she merely continued on her way as though nothing had happened. When I read her thoughts again, I discovered that she only remembered removing me from my mother's womb, washing me clean, and taking me from the room. According to her, I had never touched Gianna.

I felt relieved, though removing her memory of the mishap did not erase the fact that I had done it. But at least I had not killed my mother, and for that I was grateful. She was my whole world up to that point, and I could not imagine life without her.

We entered another room at that point, and I remembered where she was taking me. My father, Aro, wanted to see me. I sifted through what I had learned of him. He was powerful, and he had sired me because he wanted to protect that power. Like me, he could hear the memories of others by touching them, but only he and I could do so. That meant we were gifted. Hmm. He didn't seem to be able to erase memories as I had just done. Did that mean I was, in one way at least, more powerful than he was?

"Is that him?" sounded an airy voice. Was this what my father was supposed to sound like?

I was placed in another set of arms then, and suddenly his face was leaning over mine. I saw my father, Aro, with my own eyes for the first time. He seemed anxious, excited, and mesmerized at the same time.

"Amazing," he murmured, and one of his fingers touched my little hand. Millennia of memories and experiences unfolded before me, and I sucked in a deep breath as I struggled to comprehend it all. I learned that he did not merely _have_ power – he had a passion for it. His similar passions for history and for novelties were lesser servants to that desire. Everything he was and everything he had ever been channeled into it. His alliance with his brothers was a product of power, as was his collecting a guard, siring me . . . and allowing my mother to live. This upset me – even now, he was set on letting her die from carrying me. . . .

But if it was so important to me, he would allow her to live.

I was pulled back to the present, realizing that he had already finished examining my presently short life and now was merely gauging my reaction to the eons of his. He laughed lightly because he found the situation so amusing.

_I'm curious. . . . If you tried to remove one of _my_ memories, would it work?_

I doubted it, but I would try anyway. I searched for a memory that would be appropriate for me to remove, and I settled for the one of him promising his brothers to allow my mother's death. His lip twitched at that one – hadn't he already promised me her life?

_No need to get so _impertinent_, little one._

I removed the memory, and as we'd both predicted, he regained it as soon as I did it. I could never remove anything from his mind.

_It's good to know that for sure, though._

"Well?" asked Caius impatiently.

To be honest, I had forgotten the presence of Marcus and Caius in the room. It amused me that I knew the secrets Aro was keeping from them, something they were unable to do to him. It pleased me that I knew things they didn't, like the responsible party for Didyme's death –

Aro turned his head to frown at me. _I gave you life. You keep my secrets._

Of course I would keep his secrets. What good would betraying my own father do me? If he ever decided I deserved punishment as his own sister did, I would earn it by something more deserving than being injudicious with my knowledge. In any case, I couldn't even talk yet. He had nothing to worry about.

_So you understand that no one's position in the guard is permanent. Not even yours. There are rules you must obey, and punishment I must deliver, even to you. I wouldn't want to punish you though – I am already quite fond of you._

It was true, he did like me, in many ways. He liked that I would be useful to him in his game of power, that I was gifted and intelligent, and he might even like me as a son. I liked him, too. He had few scruples, if any, but he was pragmatic and, despite his age, energetic. The two of us were quite alike – I even looked a great deal like him already – and in these few minutes, we had formed a strong bond. With our gifts so very alike, we shared a clearer connection than any two people in history had ever had. I could hear this in Aro's tone as he addressed Marcus and Caius.

"Julian _is_ a mind reader, brothers, but he can remove memories as well. He's an obliviator." Oh, how Aro loved proving Marcus and Caius wrong.

"Julian?" asked Marcus blithely. "Did you pick that name?"

"No, Julian did. It was a name Gianna already liked."

It seemed strange that Marcus would be intrigued by my name – did he know somebody by it?

_No, it's just not one we thought Gianna would pick._

So they expected her to pick some fashionable human baby name, did they? I knew what they thought of her. Only Aro understood just how intelligent she was, but they also found her rather naïve. After comparing the memories I'd seen in my little life, I could see that it was true. Still, she was my mother, and I did not want her dead.

"He is eager to serve us, but he wants his mother alive," Aro announced.

"You may not be doing her a favor, boy," Caius grumbled.

Was that a yes?

"Save her, if you must," Marcus sounded rather resigned.

Excellent!

Aro sighed. "Let's visit her, little one, and see what we can do for her."

He left the room then, with me in his arms. Though he'd never admit it openly, I knew he was a little glad that she would live, if only for his own aesthetic pleasure – she _would_ be rather lovely as an immortal.

He did not like being reminded of this, and so let go of my hand.

Hmp. That was so unfair. I had no way to communicate with my mouth yet – he was cutting me off by not reading my thoughts. Though to be honest, I had no need to talk to anyone at the moment. Still . . .

We entered my mother's room, and found the human woman Regina working on her. She had sewn up the incisions made by my birth, thereby keeping her from bleeding to death. According to Aro, the bite I had given her was assuredly changing her into a vampire now. I was glad my little mistake had turned to her benefit.

Then he ordered Regina from the room, because she was making me thirsty and he didn't want her either dead or changed into a vampire yet. He gave me to another vampire assigned with the task of feeding me and finding me some clothes. I was to be kept from my mother until she could control her thirst enough to be around me, which was fine by me, as long as she lived.

Fed and exhausted, I drifted off to sleep, comforted by the fact that Aro had every reason to keep his promise of letting her live – he knew that I would leave, once I was able, if he didn't.

In the past few hours that constituted my little life, I had gone from sitting ignorantly in my mother's womb to learning the dealings of one of the most powerful organizations in the world and saving my mother's life. I knew far more than any child my age ever had before, even those of my own species. With millennia of experience to draw upon, my life was looking to be very promising indeed.


	6. Chapter 6

"The way you speak of him . . . you haven't been this excited since you found Jane and Alec."

"He's more than I ever dreamed, my dear. And I'd thought, when I met Edward Cullen, that the power of two mind readers would create such an anomaly. Julian puts the poor boy to shame."

"And it doesn't bother you that a mere babe has unlimited access to all our secrets?"

"Exactly – he is only a child, young and impressionable as children always are. He will grow loyal to us."

"Until he becomes disillusioned as an adult. Not to mention that he will know exactly how young and impressionable he is, and that you plan to use that weakness. He will know every word you're saying to me right now."

"He won't care – he'd agree with me, anyway. He loves his mother to no end, and he's enough like her and like me to follow the same agenda. He likes the control we have over the vampire world, and thereby the entire world. He agrees that we must wipe out all usurpers to it, even unwitting ones. We understand each other, he and I, the good and the bad, and we like each other for it. He already is loyal; all we have to do is cultivate his potential."

"How ironic. After all these centuries, you couldn't ask for a more fitting companion than a son."

"Except for, perhaps, you, who has never needed to read my mind in order to know it completely."

"You're predictable, Aro. It'll be your downfall, you know."

"Not so long as you're around to tell me where I go wrong."

"As if you ever listen to me!"

"I do, though. More than you know. I'm just better at taking your silent advice than spoken ones."

"Then take this advice . . . you should let me care for the child."

"Why?"

_You don't seem willing enough to ensure his mind is molded correctly. I want to help. I'll teach him well, give him the education he'll need to help him be up to the tasks you've set for him. And no, reading everyone's minds will not be able to replace that._

"You also want a claim on him, since he is not your own son. You may try to hide that from yourself, but it doesn't fool me. It won't fool him either, so you might as well come to terms with it before he meets you. Just because I say you may care for him doesn't mean he will let himself become a pawn in your assertion of dominance."

_This is more than just an assertion of dominance. I want to have a bond with him as you do. He's already altered you significantly. I want to go through this change, too, so . . . so you don't leave me behind._

"I'm surprised you admitted this to me. It's very brave, to be honest in your motivations."

_Or else very foolish._

"Only if you're indiscreet in your honesty."

_Trust me, I don't intend to make a habit of it._

* * *

Later they told me I was quiet during my transformation – at least, more quiet than usual. It might have had something to do with being knocked out and having half my bones broken. And I'd thought I was in pain before. Ha.

The fact was that I was so tired and sick that I had a hard time vocalizing. The vomit hadn't entirely exited my trachea before; I was hoarse. It took all the energy I had just to feel the pain, let alone scream about it. And then I crossed the bridge between being more vampire and more human, and I developed a new capacity for it. It was still hell, though.

Nobody witnessed my awakening; they just left a few corpses in the room. I devoured them without thinking, cold as they were. The burn in my throat muted a bit, and I came to myself.

My clothes were reduced to disgusting tatters on my skin, so I peeled them off immediately. Black threads were embedded in my belly where I had been cut into – would they stay there forever? I tugged at one end, and it turned to dust. I proceeded to wipe off the rest, and found that there was no mark left behind. No synthetic thread could outlast venom. But there were scant bite indents here and there.

Dried blood still pooled around my bed, however; dry and stale as it was, it had no effect on my muted burning throat. I threw those sheets and blankets into the fire, creating a delicious smell. Still no rerelease of burning. My mind turned to other things.

How strange, to have no baby inside me. Where was it? Was it a boy or girl? Had it lived? My heart went cold – cold for a vampire, that is. If the child died . . . if it _died_ . . . what would I do? It couldn't be dead, oh please don't be dead –

It would kill me if it was dead. Emotionally and probably literally too. What reason would there be for keeping me around if it was dead? Unless they had a psycho vampire ward around here for hysterics who'd lost everything they cared for in life.

I had to find my baby. I was about to break down the door when I remembered I was naked. _Clothes_, I thought. _Clothes, then baby._

Once I got around to leaving my room, I found a lines of moving vampires from either side of the hallway. I crouched into a defensive position, ready for their attack. They stopped, and I heard Felix's voice.

"We'll kill you if you attack now, Gianna. You cannot prevail against the six of us. Stand straight. Act civilized. Your life depends on it."

I stood.

"Good, Gianna, very good. Now, get in control of yourself, that's a good girl."

I hated his condescending to me. I wasn't a human anymore. Even when I _was_ human he hadn't talked to me like this. "Where's my baby?" I hissed.

"I won't tell you until you get in control of yourself, Gianna."

"I am in control!" I screamed.

They laughed at me then, which aggravated me further. I punched a wall.

Felix sighed. "Once you stop breathing so hard and smashing through walls, then you'll be in control. You have to be in control to find out where your baby is. It's as simple as that. We'll wait as long as you like."

I'd been gulping in air as much as I could – standard vampire behavior when threatened – as a sensory overload measure. I breathed more slowly and deeply, a little at a time. Soon my head cleared. I was all right. "Where is my baby?" I asked again.

"He's all right, he's with Sulpicia."

Aro's _wife_? What did she want with my baby? "Why?"

He shrugged. "Beats me. But she won't harm Julian. Aro knows so."

Julian? How had they known I might pick that name? Oh – of course – it was for the same reason Aro knew Sulpicia wouldn't harm Julian. He'd read my mind. Had he done so while I was knocked out? Had he met his son? What was Julian like? "Can I see him?" I asked aloud.

"You can see Aro, but not Julian. You're too raw. You might kill Aro's prize."

I grimaced. So my son was safe with _Sulpicia_ but not _me_? This was so unfair.

"Easy now, Gianna," murmured a female.

I sighed and unclenched.

"Good, Gianna," said Felix. "The faster you learn control, the sooner you get to see your child. But for now, you should be content with meeting Aro and swearing fealty to him." Felix held up a gray cloak.

Now _that_ was something I wanted that I _could_ have. Felix turned – how could he stand it with an unstable newborn behind him? He must be very confident, or else trained well enough to be so confident – and I followed him to the throne room.


	7. Chapter 7

On day two of my life I got to meet a new friend. I'd already met her through Aro's thoughts, but it wasn't the same as meeting her in person. Sulpicia was amazing. You had to be pretty sharp for Aro to put up with you for too long; it gets so monotonous listening to a mind that never thinks. And Sulpicia's mind worked fast, even for a vampire. She'd reach conclusions and make connections too quickly for anyone to mark her train of thought, which made for interesting reading for me. I liked this stepmother of mine quite a lot.

Though she had no talent for it, she was a fair hand at reading faces. It made for communication between us much simpler. She could tell what pleased me and what didn't. She quickly learned I didn't like being bounced, played with, or cuddled like other babies. Instead she told me bedtime stories. Though of course, the only magic involved was our own particular brand of vampirism. Most of them were historical accounts, both human and vampire. She particularly loved the Romans – their legends, government, and culture. It was no wonder, since the Romans came into power not long after the Volturi did ("not long," of course, meaning a few hundred years after). It had been a pity, she reflected, when they went into decline, and though she was reluctant to admit it, the fall of the Roman empire had inspired the Romanian revolt. Vampires liked to pretend they were above human wars and conflicts, but really the two species constantly affected one another. Great movements within the vampire world, or even pitiful squabbles, could have innumerable repercussions on that of the humans. On the other hand, vampires depended on humans for their innovation and ability to adapt. Vampires had benefited greatly in the past half-millenium from the discovery of America, which provided them with another outlet for finding food, and also this past evolution of technology. So of course the Romanians felt they could take control, after seeing the uncivilized Vandals sack Rome. Why not a well-collected force on an unsuspecting Volturi?

Though of course I'd already heard most of these stories in Aro's mind, she gave me a chance to see them objectively, thoughtfully, with more in mind than mere entertainment or whether it could be used to an advantage. She meant for me to learn, and she could see me reach conclusions and make connections as she told them to me. She was teaching me how to think.

I could feel my muscles developing, too, and within a couple days I was sitting up all by myself. It felt very adultlike, which pleased me a great deal. I would try to walk and talk as soon as I could, too, because I hated being hindered by my juvenile invalidity. I knew I was only a baby, but I belonged in the world of the ancients, and I wanted to catch up as quickly as I could.

Though my hand rested on Sulpicia's face, she still murmured her stories aloud. It kept her mind from going off track. I liked hearing her commentary behind them, too, and so all of her words held much more meaning than any mere lecture could. But at one point her thoughts trailed off after light steps echoing through the room. Had it been only one vampire, she would not have been able to pick it up, but about six or so made it barely detectable. She knew they were using the tower's secret passage reserved mainly for the wives and their bodyguards, though occasionally Aro or Caius would find a use for it. (Marcus had avoided the wives' tower for millennia.) She could guess what Aro was using it for now. A couple faint scents permeated through the weak points in the wall, and one of them was Gianna's. They were trying to let her get as close to me as was safe.

Should she let on that she knew? Her eyes flickered to my face, and she was certain that I knew. Would I insist on being taken to Gianna?

It was awfully tempting, but I knew it would be foolish to risk my life that way. Also, the only way to make such a request was cry, and I was trying to refrain from that as much as possible. The less the others saw me acting like a baby, the better.

Nonetheless, I looked to the one-way glass disguised as a mirror from which my mother was watching, and tried to get myself in the best view of it. Of course, Sulpicia caught on to what I was doing immediately. _I'll oblige you, darling, but we aren't coming any closer to that mirror._ This encounter worried her. Even with six other vampires to hold her back, the one-way glass served as no more than a flimsy screen between Gianna and me.

As she held me in full view of the glass, we heard a small gasp through the wall. Gianna's? In any case, it was now obvious we knew they were there. So I couldn't resist waving to the mirror while I smiled broadly. I liked my reflection in the mirror; my hair had grown darker and more thickly around my head, and the expression on my face was much older than my body. I heard reactions then, too – some startled, some awed. I would have liked to read their minds, but that of course was impossible.

I was as yet unable to speak, but I wanted to show my mother I loved her. I could make a few crude attempts at sign language, or maybe blow her a kiss. They still seemed incredibly juvenile to me. I settled for making it as simple as possible. I pointed into the mirror, then brought both hands to my chest. Then I made a little heart with my hands.

That's how I knew every single vampire behind that curtain was female, because every one of them, depite their rigorous training and discipline, couldn't help but let a little "awwwww" escape. As if I'd done that little trick for _them_. Honestly, would the ridiculous patronizing ever end?

"I love you too, Julian," said a quiet voice. My mother. Hearing her say that made all the patronizing worth it.

What I wouldn't give to read her mind at that moment! How I'd love to see her, and have her hold me for the first time. My desire was so strong that I couldn't help but whimper. I wanted my mamma so badly.

By then the bodyguards felt that was enough, and they all slunk back the way they came, whisps of invisibility. My longing pined after them. Sulpicia held me closer to her, and my hand rested on her neck. She supposed she was a little jealous of Gianna, of how strongly I felt for her. But that was understandable. She tried not to pay attention to it.

Aro found us then, bursting into the room to embrace us both. "Hello, dear ones," he said, his voice light as an aria. "How fare you today?"

I grasped his finger in response, and we communicated silently while Sulpicia began chastising him.

"Did it even _occur_ to you that you should be here while Gianna was visiting, to make sure _your son_ didn't come to any harm?"

"The force I assigned was more than enough to keep her in check, Sulpicia. And Demetri has just returned from his scouting trip. I had to debrief him."

He was excited about what Demetri had found. His plans for me were definitely underway. I was excited too, excited to be useful for once.

"Everything is set," Aro continued to tell her. "All we have to do is wait."

Wait for me to grow up, that was. And that was where Sulpicia would come most in handy. She would make sure I was ready to fulfill any duties I might be assigned. I would always have to be careful of my enemies, both political and physical. I had prowess among the guard, with my ability to know every secret available, but I would always be behind in speed and strength. I had to learn ways of stealth and subtlety.

I liked the image of my adult self, strong and able to take whatever came at me. I was hungry for it, even. I eagerly anticipated these challenges, teeth bared and smiling.


	8. Chapter 8

I knew how to handle men. I knew how to come to them as a conqueror but appear a supplicant, and vice versa. For example, when I got Felix to train with me. I knew he had time to kill and nothing better to kill it with than a strong newborn to practice fighting, but he would never acknowledge it to me. So when he started going on about his important duties and how time-consuming they were, I cowered in feigned deference. "Oh, I'm sorry to even ask, Felix. I should have known. Maybe I can get Afton to train with me instead."

Felix was mostly over his passion for Chelsea, but he still remained less than fond of Afton. My mention of him left a furrow in his brow.

"Afton's an alright fighter, but he and Chelsea haven't been on the guard that long. He doesn't have nearly as much experience as I do."

"But even a less prestigious _full_ education is better than _half_ of one from someone who doesn't have time to teach."

"I'm sure that when Aro knows I'm teaching you, he'll remove some of my duties."

"Oh, I wouldn't want you to do that just for me. As you said, your duties are very important."

I had him struggling for words. "Well - well - compared to what the rest of the guard does, they are. But I don't need important duties to show my worth to Aro. I'm always among his most prized."

"And why would one of Aro's most prized bother to teach an untalented little recruit?"

"Because . . . you're important, too."

"I am?"

"We're a guard, not a football team. We're only as strong as our weakest link."

"Oh. That's . . . flattering." And I turned away from him, as if I were going to leave. I wasn't about to let him get away with calling me weak.

"I mean, um, I also, uh, really want to work with you."

Oh yes, he did!

"You do?"

Felix smiled. "It's not every day you get to fight a strong, cunning newborn."

Hmm. Cunning. That was a bonus. I gave him a knowing smile, indicating that he'd been caught. "Well, as long as it's not _too_ much trouble, then."

But for all my artistry, two males in my life continued to elude me. My son, Julian, I was forbidden to come into direct contact with for fear my thirst would kill him. Several times my longing for him ached until I was tempted to sneak into the wives' tower and spirit him away. But then the thirst would attack me again, and the thought of putting my baby in such danger inspired extreme panic.

In my occasional trips to the one-way glass, Julian spoke to me aloud. He proudly told me of everything he was learning, both physically and intellectually. He told me what a great teacher Sulpicia was, and that he wished I could be with them too. He also said I shouldn't worry too much, because he still saw me through the thoughts of others. "Otherwise," he told me, "I would have found a way to break out of here and catch a glimpse of you."

Our bodyguards laughed. Sulpicia said, "You would have found a way to make us very angry and lock you up in a crib like a normal baby." She said it tenderly, with a smile.

Julian answered, "And then you'd find out that I can throw a temper tantrum like a normal baby."

Two months after his birth, I received a handwritten note from Julian. I was pleased to have a way to communicate without seven other vampires in the room, but it saddened me to realize that he had learned to read and write while I wasn't there. His life was passing so quickly, and I played such a minor part in it.

I was eternally envious of Sulpicia, for she had the raising of him while I didn't. In my darker moments I wondered whether she shouldn't be trusted with him either, for up in the wives' tower she had little practice restraining herself around humans. But no, she was always in control. If I let suspicions like that worry me, I'd go insane.

I was also jealous of her for another reason - Aro, the only man I had no power over. I wasn't sure whether my worry over him was due to the fact that he knew I had still desired him - when I was human at least - or that the line between master and lover were forever blurred and confused. To make things more complicated, he would show up to my training sessions with Felix every now and then, always claiming some pretext. I never knew what to make of this. Was he merely doing his job, making sure I was trained properly? Or was he there to make sure Felix made no advances on me? If the latter were true, did that mean _he_ wanted to make advances on me? But he was my master; if he wanted to take me he would just do it, as was his right. To have his gaze on me as I trained was unnerving, to say the least. It put my emotions in a tumble, a mixture of fear, passion, and anxiety. However, I made sure to let none of that show in my work. To appear unfocused and incompetent simply would not do.

When I'd been a vampire nearly six months, I showed to train with Felix one day, only to find our usual room empty. This was to be expected; he sometimes came late. But after waiting half an hour and I was ready to go out looking for him, Aro showed up.

"Felix has been sent out hunting," he told me. "He can't train with you today."

Oh. So I'd return to my room and write a letter to Julian. When Felix returned, I'd be able to make another trip to the one-way glass. Julian had gotten so big now. Would his hair be even longer? Sulpicia really should arrange to get it cut -

"Which is why," Aro cut in, "I will be training with you instead."

Wait - what? Since when did Aro train with anyone? Aro could fight? Aro _would_ fight? I looked at his clothes. Beneath the black cloak he wore loose, less extravagant clothing. It suited him well.

"The two of us - alone?" I asked.

It wasn't until his breath caught that I realized what I was insinuating. What I meant was that I expected his bodyguards to be with him while he was training with a newborn - what if I lost control? But he thought I meant that I thought he had intentions. And from the look on his face, it looked like he _did_ have intentions.

How much planning went behind this meeting? Was it mere coincidence that Felix was suddenly called away to hunt without warning, that he didn't have time to tell me not to come today, and that the only person available to deliver the message was Aro himself?

He wanted me - that much was obvious. But did I want him? I had when I was human. How much did I trust those memories? I cast a furtive glance at his body underneath those loose clothes he was wearing.

Aro said, "Do you wish to fight me or not?"

"Yes," I said.

He came at me then, and I ducked out of the way at last nanosecond. From there I jumped, intending to land on his shoulders, but he, too, was fast. He attempted a hold on me from behind, but I was in the air again, starting a flip over his head. With dartlike precision, Aro grabbed my leg and knocked me to the floor.

This was crucial. If Aro got on top of me, I had a small chance of winning this fight. That was why I had employed such techniques of jumping into the air - to ensure _I_ was above _him_.

I got off the floor the instant I hit it, but Aro was one step ahead of me, already on my left side. I had to make a quick hairpin turn to my right.

Here I made a decision. If my gameplan was to outrun Aro and make quick fatal jabs before he could react, nothing would happen. He was just as fast as I was, and so we would remain at an impasse. I decided to move in on him and spar, relying on my strength to overpower him.

I began by trying to get a hold on his wrist, and he took a step back to avoid it. I realized this wasn't a smart move. It alerted him to my change of tactics, and it was too feeble to really surprise him. In all my endeavors to not rely on instinct and go for the obvious kill, I had grown too reserved.

Still, he had given me ground. I took advantage and made a drive toward him, aiming to take out his legs. He responded with a kick, which I blocked, and went for my head. I responded by hitting him in the stomach, which forced him back from me and gave me room to stand upright. At that point he went for my arms, and I aimed to block him with a kick - but wait, he was only feinting for my arms, and while I was busy delivering my kick he went around with a side attack.

His mouth touched my throat, and he had won.

"Felix really has taught you well," he murmured to me. "Would you like to try again?"

At which I did something impulsive - I put my arms around him in such a sudden motion that my momentum carried us both to the floor, with me on top. I put my mouth on his throat then.

"Done," I said, and he laughed.

"I should have been expecting that - but then, I haven't sparred with anyone in ages."

His breath washed on me as he spoke. There were only centimeters between his face and mine; and the rest of our bodies lay directly on top of each other. We were in a compromising position, and we both knew it.

My decision here was just as fatal as any I'd made during the fight, but this one was real, and had real consequences. I had every reason to accept him, and if I rebuffed him, I had no idea how he would react. I had been with him before, and found him attractive, at least to human eyes. Becoming Aro's mistress would give me privileges with the rest of the guard. The only thing holding me back was this new life. The only passion I had felt for the past half-year was for human blood, and also to have Julian in my arms. Physical passion had never crossed my mind. I wasn't even sure what to make of how I felt now, with my body lying across his. If my body wasn't ready . . . could a vampire be hurt that way?

I had never felt so vulnerable. Ever.

"But Gianna, you're so tense," said Aro as he began to stroke my cheek. "Are you all right?"

I had no answer.

He sat up, and I obliged. He took me in his arms and began stroking my neck, my hair, my back. "What do you feel?" he asked me.

I felt myself beginning to unclench at his touch. I sighed quietly but still said nothing.

"You were smart, to employ the change in technique when you did," he told me. "After that, it was your strength against my experience. Your speed, though, that was fun to watch. The leaps you've learned to time well. You'll be a formidable fighter."

It was good to hear his praise of me. I relaxed into his chest, but was surprised to find only bare skin there. Apparently I had grabbed the back of his shirt too roughly when I'd tackled him, leaving a full rip down the front. The wide planes of his chest and abdomen were fully open to my view.

"Oh," I said. "Your shirt . . ."

"Ah, well," he said. "These things happen, you know. Nothing to worry about."

But it did make a difference. No matter what we did now, he'd be leaving this room with a ripped shirt. Though the excuse he'd make would be true, I didn't have to read minds to know what people would think when they saw it. I was Aro's mistress from now on.

"Nobody has to know anything we don't want them to," he told me.

Only then did I realize he'd been reading my thoughts for the past few minutes - ever since he'd touched my cheek. I'd been much too distracted by him.

"I've been distracting you?" he asked.

At that moment I recognized my fear for what it really was - a defense mechanism, a human residue from the last feverish moments of my former life. When Aro had left me . . . left me to die bearing Julian, the pain of that rejection had caused me to put a mental block over the idea of ever loving him again. Being confronted with it now caused my buried desires to come into conflict with that mental block, a trait cemented in my vampire form. My response was this fear.

Hearing this, Aro responded carefully. "My brothers . . . were averse to letting you live, even before I fathered my son on you. It was not my place to override their mandate. But when Julian made it a condition of his serving us, they were content to trade over your life. I really am quite grateful for that, and he knows it."

Of course. Julian knew everything.

Aro chuckled. "He's amazing, isn't he? He's more than I ever dreamed of."

He was.

"And I'd like to thank you for giving him to me."

So Julian was Aro's, then? Did that mean he intended to keep our separation _permanent_?

He tipped my face to look into his. "Gianna. Even if I had a reason for keeping the two of you apart, it would never work. Julian and I can't possibly keep secrets from each other, and he'd never stand for it. It's as we said, you just need to get under control."

That day could never come fast enough.

Aro sighed. "You really are doing well. I think we can arrange something for when Felix gets back."

"So I can see him?" I asked aloud. "I can hold him?"

"Of course."

I crushed myself against him with such happiness that I began shaking. My son. My boy. We would be together soon. My boy.

Aro turned his head and kissed me, and all the memories of our first night together flooded through me. My pent-up passion and heartache were released in one wild torrent, and that day I earned the title that would follow me for the rest of my life.

I was Aro's mistress.


	9. Chapter 9

In most ways I wanted to be like an adult. I wanted to be big and independent like they were, and I hated being patronized like a child. But I didn't want to be so preoccupied with sex, as adults were. I was generally indifferent to it; when it came up in people's thoughts, as it inevitably did, I ignored it. But I found it annoying that my parents' having gotten back together was such a hot topic. Weren't these things supposed to be private?

Lucky me, I got to hear every side of the story, and also every side of the gossip. Most of them believed Gianna had seduced Aro. Those were the ones who said Sulpicia was going to get Gianna killed. Others thought Gianna was trying to replace Sulpicia. What did they think this was, Henry VIII?

Such a comparison could hardly be any less apt. Aro and Sulpicia would stay together, and no one was getting their head chopped off. To be sure, it was a delicate situation, but overall a rather uneventful one. Sulpicia liked to act as if such things were beneath her notice, though they really did bother her. She had been raised in a different age, one in which such conduct might be acceptable. Gianna had a right to Aro; after all, she had borne him a son. Sulpicia merely took refuge in her status as the official, favored wife.

I was just glad I'd get to see my mother soon. I would have preferred not to wait until after Felix's arrival, but she could hardly visit me while she was still thirsty. In the meantime, I had plans of my own.

I never ate in the "dining hall" with everyone else. Since I was warm-blooded, it would be too easy to mistake me for food. This made for an excellent opportunity to leave the wives' tower. While Sulpicia went to eat and fetch my food, I was completely alone.

Once she was safely gone, I opened the secret passage that carried me past the one-way glass. I followed my mother's memory and scent until I made into one of the main thoroughfare halls of the castle. From there I only had to follow the scent of humans, and there was the secretary's desk.

Regina was the only safe human being in the entire castle. Her heartbeat had quickened and her hands were shaking; it bothered her deeply to send humans through the halls to be killed.

I perched myself on the counter by her desk. "Excuse me," I said to her, "Could I make an appointment?"

She jumped. "Who the hell are you?" she said loudly.

"Tut tut," I sighed. "Secretaries aren't supposed to swear at people."

She eyed me speculatively. "Are you . . . are you –"

"The squalling half-breed brat you delivered six months ago? Pleasure to meet you too, ma'am."

"What are you doing down here? Aren't you supposed to be feeding with everyone else?"

I shrugged. "It's not safe for anything with a heartbeat in there."

"So why aren't you skulking about the castle like a proper half-vampire?"

"Skulking is boring," I told her. "Besides, I need to talk to you. We don't have much time."

"O . . . kay," she said. "What's going on?"

"I have a gift," I said, "that is similar to Aro's. I can read minds the same way he can, but I can also remove memories. So I know your whole story. I know you hate working for us, and if you could, you'd leave. So I have an opportunity for you. I can remove every memory you've ever had of the Volturi, of vampires, and you can go back to your old life."

Regina'd had plans for her human life. She was going to finish her education and become a doctor. Moreover, she wanted to spend the rest of her life serving the human race. Her grandfather, a man she had admired very much, had left her a modestly large sum of money, and while it sat in the bank collecting interest and being wisely invested, she had more than enough capital to begin a foundation – for exactly what cause she was not yet sure.

But it was her misfortune to discover the existence of vampires. From a distance she had glimpsed a vampire feeding on a human, and she was lucky enough that the vampire hadn't noticed her. But it had left her severely distraught for weeks. She called a psychiatrist, and that was that. When she showed up for her appointment, Alec was waiting for her. Her only choices were either to help save my mother's life or die. She chose the first option.

Now Regina held out her hand to me. "Go ahead," she said. "Do it."

"Wait," I said. "I need to warn you – I'll be removing a good eight months of your life. I've never removed that much before. It might be too much for your brain. I might even damage it."

"I don't care. Anything is better than this."

"All right. Just so you know. But we can't do it here. We'll have to leave the castle, so you won't have any memory of it. Also, you might want to write yourself a note. Reassure yourself. Give yourself some instuctions as to where you should go, what you should do. Then we can do it."

Already she had out a pen and paper and was scribbling. I gave her a few minutes, and then she was ready. "Let's go," she said.

We took the elevator up, and we walked a couple blocks away. All the while she was getting so excited. I could hear her heart beat faster. It was actually making me thirsty. And I'd never been around so many humans at once. But hunting within the city was a fatal offense, one I doubted even I could be forgiven for. I shook my head clear of such thoughts.

"Stop right here," I commanded, and she complied. "Keep your eyes on the note and nothing else. With any luck, you'll never see my face again."

"Before we begin," said Regina, "I'd like to thank you for doing this. I wish I could repay you somehow -"

"You already have," I told her. "Now we don't have much time. Take my hand."

Her hand made no such motion. "How have I repaid you?"

"My mother would be dead if it weren't for you," I said. "If you hadn't arranged for my delivery when you did, it would have been too late. Now take my hand."

Her face melted into a look of quiet wonder, and she took my hand.

I started a couple hours before she glimpsed her first vampire and bulldozed through every memory afterward. I supposed I could have left a couple of harmless memories there, for continuity's sake, but it was too complicated for me to go through each one and determine how safe they were – not to mention time-consuming. It wouldn't be long until my family came looking for me, and if they ran into Regina, all my hard work would have gone to waste.

Eventually I caught up to the present, including her memories of having her mind wiped. It had been such a strange sensation, which fascinated me entirely. She now was entering into a blind stupor, which many of my subjects experienced after their memories were removed. It would probably last longer than the others, but not too long. I ran out into a crowd where she couldn't see, too quickly for human eyes to follow. From a distance, I watched her stare at her note, first blankly, then intensely. She looked searchingly through the crowd for a moment, which frightened me a little – perhaps I had not succeeded after all. But no, she was merely getting her bearings, for her eyes had found the street sign, and she walked away without another word.

Eight months of her life gone, just like that, and without any excessive side effects. Her life had completely changed in about five minutes, and I was the one responsible. I'd known before that my gift was powerful, but now I really _knew_ it.

I still wanted to see how she'd pick up and move on with her life, make sure she didn't somehow go insane. No doubt Aro would send someone to follow up on that. And he'd also be just as curious as I was.

At that point I felt a shadow fall over me. Over my head was a woman asking if I was lost, which made me groan inwardly. I would have to get rid of her, which was really quite simple once I cleared my head. I gave her an innocent, hopeful look and took her hand. Soon after, I sidled up to some woman and her kid and pretended to be with them. They never seemed to notice me, and by the time I reentered the castle, they never did.

I seethed at the necessity, though. My body was growing fast, but hardly fast enough for me. How long would it be until I was treated like the adult I was inside my little body?

The instant I entered the lobby, I was snatched up by one of the guard. "I found him!" he yelled. "I found him!"

Good grief. I'd only been gone half an hour. What was I, a puppy? I certainly didn't like being manhandled like one as he swept me through the castle.

"You can put me down, Johann," I told him. "I acquired the use of my legs five months ago. I'd prefer to use them."

"I don't suppose you'll be dumb enough to run away again?"

I changed my mind. I'd take coddling over condescencion any day. "I was conducting business," I said testily. "If I'd had anything else I needed to do, I would have stayed out there. But I finished my business, so I came back. I'm perfectly capable of walking back to the wives' tower by myself."

He still held me.

"As if you wouldn't beat me to the door anyway."

He sighed and let me go. I walked ahead of him at a quick pace, not enough to suggest I would attempt an "escape," but enough to keep a distance between us. Nobody else said anything as we passed, but I caught several reproving looks.

They seemed to think themselves my disciplinaries. They were wrong. I only answered to Aro. And when he found out what I'd been doing, he'd eventually approve.

If I was an adult, I could have come and gone as I pleased, no questions asked. But since I was a child, we had to put on this circus. It was so unfair.

When I reached Sulpicia's room, Aro was already there. She immediately began reprimanding me.

"If you _ever _do that again, I'll be leaving a detail behind to watch you. And they get first claim on everything I bring back."

I simply went to Aro and touched his hand. As I'd predicted, he had intentions of sending someone to keep tabs on Regina, but he wasn't exactly too pleased that I'd snuck off to do it.

_It's not your place to dismiss our servants. You do realize that all you're doing is putting another woman in her position, don't you? She may accept it, as your mother did, but chances are she'll feel the same as Regina. _Images flashed through his head of former secretaries and their unhappy memories. _You can't do that every time we find someone new._

_It's different. I won't owe that woman my mother's life debt._

_Is that really why you did it?_

_Do you think I did it because I_ sympathized _with her? You've seen my thoughts. You know I don't._

_Actually, I_ don't _know. You haven't really thought about whether you sympathize with her or not. As a mind reader, that's something you need to know. You need to ask the questions yout subject hasn't, and you can never assume you'll be able to predict what a person will do, just because you know their mind. You can never guess their heart. It has a close connection with the mind, to be sure, but it is separate from it and far less predictable._

_I don't care about humans. The only one I ever did isn't human anymore._

_But that's just it, isn't it? You care for her, instinctively. This affinity you have for your mother, it's human. It's part of you. How can we know how your human tendencies will influence your behavior as you grow up? It breeds uncertainty in my plans._

This was true. Every part of his plans depended on my commitment to the Volturi. My sneaking out to satisfy my debt to Regina called it into question. He didn't care that I'd inconvenienced the guard or risked brain-damaging Regina. What concerned him was that I'd acted on human notions over the proprieties of vampires. Humans repaid kindness for kindness; vampires only avenged trespasses. Before today, he'd counted on me as a strength; now I was a liability.

Now I realized how arrogant I was, assuming that because Aro and I conferred everything, we would agree on everything, and that I had a share in his authority. Of course they all had a right to worry about me if I was gone. For all they knew, someone could have infiltrated our defenses – it would have come up no matter how old I was or appeared to be. I was so egotistical, so easily wounded. I had acted like a child today, and I deserved to be treated like one.

_Oh, Julian. _He picked me up and took me in his arms. _You have not learned to savor your childhood as you should. Where would you have learned it – we have all but lost the memories of our childhoods. You do have an adult place in an adult world, but the responsibilities of an adult are not yet yours. Perhaps I expect too much of you_ – I winced inwardly, could I really not handle the small responsibility I had? – _no, you don't want to be told that. But you should appreciate this period you have to grow and change. Today was one such experience. Take it and move on. Remember that I am still very proud of you._

I couldn't help it then. Despite my embarrassment, a few tears escaped and trickled onto his neck. _Don't be ashamed to cry_, he told me. _It's quite all right._

Sulpicia, who had noticed what was going on but had resolved not to interrupt us, took both me and Aro into her arms. I appreciated the gesture, but at the same time, I wanted nothing more than to have my own biological mother take me into her arms as we were doing now.

Aro sighed. _You should feed first. Then we will take you._ I leaned out of the hug and kissed their foreheads before standing on my own. Dry by then, my eyes sought out the corpses on the floor. When I was finished, Aro and I left the tower with my little hand clasped in his large cold one.


End file.
